


Team Rescue Rangers

by McCrystalKitty



Category: Fairly OddParents, Power Rangers, Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types, Teen Titans (Animated Series), おそ松さん | Osomatsu-san (Anime)
Genre: Crack, Dark Crack, Dont read this please, M/M, Not Beta Read, but its funny, i had a nightmare, im so sorry, it's not funny at all, its cancer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 01:43:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7782031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McCrystalKitty/pseuds/McCrystalKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaze and Tails hang out in a mall, then hear about the fish festival. Timmy turner, Pink power ranger and Starfire also go to said festival. they get recruited by a mysterious man in a trenchcoat to form a team of mystery solvers. follow them as they solve the mystery of Osomatsu's disappearance, learn Choromatsu greatest secret and save the day again</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chiken nuggets

**Author's Note:**

> im so sorry

Blaze and Tails were excited, they couldn't wait to get to the mall. Today was they day the history museum was going to have free admission, the dinosaurs were gonna be free to look at.

 

“Blaze why are you wearing a pope outfit?” tails asked

“I must be divine at all times” 

They entered the church/mall/museum, and looked around. There we a couple of cosplayers  some weird old man dancing to a ukulele and john cena.  They walked around for a bit taking in the breathtaking sights. Flashy lights, dinosaur bones and hundreds of people walking back and forth.

 

“Wow my heads spinning!” Tails exclaimed

“It is quite beautiful isn't it” Blaze, sniffed the air. She smelled something, what was it? It smelt familiar, scaly, enticing. “Fish” she ran over to a stand that reeked of fish. There was a lady sitting there she smiled and gave them a poster. 

  
  


_ Come to totoko chan's fish festival, _

_ starts at  5:30, _

_ there will be a paintball event at 7:30, $50 per person _

_ Admission to fish event is free, concert tickets and fish itself  prices vary.  _

 

“Tails we need to go to the fish event”

“What? We don't even know who this  _ totoko chan _ is”

“But there fish there, and paint ball, more importantly fish”

“But we need money first”

 

Blaze thought, how will they get money? The mall speakers interrupted her though as they made a loud squealing pig sound. 

“HELLO MALL PATRONS, COME ON THE DINO COASTER, IF YOU CAN LIVE THROUGH IT YOU WIN 100$”

 

“That how” blaze said, grabbing tails hand and dragging him over to the dino coaster. The line was shorter than expected, the people at the desk made them sign many waivers, and as they got on they were given on last opportunity not to ride it.

“Blaze maybe this isn't such a good idea”

“Fish” 

 

The ride booted up, really quickly. In a split second they went from 3 miles and hour to mach five. Tail was screaming his head off, trying to find ways to get off. He pulled on the seat thing they keep them attached to the cart. They both flew off the rollercoaster sending them to space where they died. 

 

Thousands of rings feel from the sky and people rushed to pick them up. A certain pink hatted boy it hit in the head by multiple rings. 

 

“Cosmo ,wanda look!  Rings are raining from the sky! Where rich!”

“We don't use rings as currency timmy” wanda said

“Yeah we use them to make us look cool” Cosmo, poofed on gangster clothes and a speaker.

“Exactly, that why I wish all the rings i'm holding right now turned into cold hard cash!” The ring he had turned into a fat stack of bills. Timmy cheered, going to his house asking his parents if he could go to the fish festival downtown. They agreed and drove down town, which stank of seafood. “To the paintball war!” 

 

Timmy ignored all other things and ran straight over to the sign up desk. While writing down his information a guy in a trench coat walked up to him. 

 

“Are you Timmy turner?”  his voice sounded robotic.

“Yeah duh!” still focused on the paper. 

“Please take this paper, have a nice day” the man gave him a paper and walked away.

“Wierdo” timmy shoved the paper in his pocket and gave the desk people his waiver.

“Okay, can i have the fifty dollars please? The woman asked

He pulled out the cash “Here you go, this may be more than 50 though” the woman started to count the money.

“This is 42 dollars”

“What?”

“You only gave me 42 dollars, i need eight more” 

“I'll be right back” timmy ran over to his mom an dad at a picnic table eating burgers. “Mom i need 8 dollars!” 

“Sorry timmy we already spent all our money of merchandise” his mom said

“Totoko’s the cutest idol!” mr turner cooed, decked out in totoko gear.

Timmy cried, he couldn't get into the paintball war because he was six dollars short. Life was awful he should just end it. Cosmo poofed up in front of him.

“Don't worry timmy, i got you a fishy hat, i even got totoko to sign it!”  timmy continued to cry. 

 

Nearby there was a familiar cat and fox, ordering food from inside out burger. They only bought chicken nuggets and sat down at a table. 

“What did we learn today blaze?”

“Dont risk your life for fish”

“Good”

 

A man wearing purple sitting in the table besides them overheard their conversation. “That's not true, if there's a cat or pretty lady involved you should give your life to fish”

“Ignore him blaze” tails said, the waiter came over and gave them chicken nuggets.

  
  


 

 


	2. exposition the prequel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this part didn't exist in the original two dreams, I just needed a way to connect them together

The teen titans. Have been at the fish festival for 3 hours, stopping at every stand, eating at least 100 pounds of fish and watching a god awful concert.

“Can we leave now?!?” robin groaned. 

“Bro what? This is the best festival ever! Look at all this fish!” beast boy cheered.“It is pretty cool robin” raven smiled

“THIS FESTIVAL IS DEPLORABLE, WHY WOULD YOU HOLD AN ENTIRE FESTIVAL DEDICATED TO SOME JAPANSE GIRL WHO THINKS HER SEXUAILTY IS FISH?” 

“Calm down robin, it just for fun the paint ball war was fun!” cyborg patted his back

“YOU KILLED EVERYONE WITH YOU PAINT CANNONS”

 

“cmon dont be a stick in the mud, starfire had fun right?” beast boy awaited a response from her. 

“Starfire?” the gang stopped and looked around for her, not sign of her. “I think we lost her”

“AUUUUUUU THIS KEEPS GETTING WORSE”

\------------------------

Starfire was walking around the festival with her newly acquired friend , a man in a pink power ranger suit. 

“Don't worry I'll find your friends ma'am!” he said it entushicalty making poses every step he took. 

“I do not think the posing is helpful” 

“It’s what I do!” 

A man wearing a trench coat walks up to the duo. “Are you miss starfire and eduardo newtaino?” 

“I'M THE PINK POWER RANGER, DON'T CALL ME ANYTHING ELSE” he said  
“Yes i am the starfire” 

“M’kay, i need your help, i'm assembling and elite group of heros to solve a 14 year old crime”

“Ooooohhhh, you asking us for the help?” starfire said

“Yes I deem you guys the most qualified” 

“YEEEAH, I GET TO BE A HERO!” PInk ranger cheer striking so more poses.

“Heh, you remind me of someone, lets go we can't spare any time”.

 

\------------------

Blaze and tails finish their chicken nuggets, they tasted like fish but were good. They were rushing to leave. To many people asking bale to give them salvation and the purple hoodie guy kept on stroking their fur. 

While, walking felt something weird in his anus. He opened his back space and felt a piece a paper he hadn't put in their, pulled it out to see what it was.“I don't remember shoving this up my ass”

“What is it?” blaze questions

“It says,we need your help, go to this address, everything will be explained then, should we go?”

“If someone went through all the effort to put the paper up there, they deserve our help”

“Alright let's go!”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Timmy walked home. His parents were too obsessed with Totoko and were still at the festival. He was disappointed he never got to enter a paint ball war seeing as he was, 8 dollars short. Those stupid rings were worthless. 

“Don't worry timmy, next time you get to enter, well save up” Wanda reassured him

“Yeah, and we'll get even more fishy things” 

Timmy ignored them, putting his hand in his pocket an sulking. He felt something inside and pulled it out. It was the paper the robot trench coat guy gave him. 

 

We need you help, please come to ******* atuska ward, all will be explained then. 

“What that timmy?” Cosmo inquired 

“It’s a call for help, they want me to go here” 

“Well not today it getting late” Wanda nagged, she was right the sun was setting, in this world it’s too dangerous to go out at night, all the edgy things happened then.

“Well i'm gon this entire day has been a drag” 

“Timmy…..”

“Cosmo i wish i was at the location on the paper right now!”

“YOU GOT IT” Cosmo waved his wand and all three of them poofed away.

\--------------------------------------

The hidden man waited in a house for more people to arrive. He hoped they arrived, he made cookies, that should last if starfire and gay power ranger didn't eat them all. The first knock on the door happened, he go up too fast to open it. Timmy turner stood there with a pink and green buttons on his shirt. 

“I'm here to help!” 

“Thank you please sit in the living room, there refreshments”

“Free food just my style” Timmy didn't expect to see a teenage orange girl and a pink power ranger sitting there. “More people? Okay”

Another knock was heard, this time tails and blaze were at the door. The man led them to the living room.

“Now that's everyone here let me explain our issue, 14 years ago someone went missing, after many attempts to find them the police dropped the case, but it think it was a cover up” he pulled out some paper from his coat. “When I investigated more I discovered something big, a supernatural event happened then and the missing subject was found dead soon afterwards”

“Ooooohhhh this sounds cool” timmy said.

“So the plan is we travel back in time and solve the case, simple enough for you guys”

“How do you intend to get us back in time” tails asks.

“Funny you ask considering how much time travel experience you and blaze have, but before we go i have to tell you a little about myself” He pulls off the trench coat to reveal a man th a bow cut, green shirt and small eyes.

“My names choromatsu matsuno, and we're gonna solve the case of my missing brother”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so much cancer I can feel the tumors growing on my back


	3. Chapter 3

 They travel back in time to find osomatsu, in tougou’s grasp ,casue plot reason. The team of super ultra ranger fight to save the day, and in between the intense battle chop choromatsu in half, they find out he's a cyborg, that being controlled by an omnipotent pig . the pig begs for forgiveness and dies, the rest of the gang continues to fight tougou in his honor  and end up horrifically stabbing him to death. So once again the day was saved thanks to Team rescue rangers. Starfire also died

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you dont even know what i had to see in order to make the ending image

**Author's Note:**

> I woke up at the end of this chapter, then fell back asleep, which instigates the next part. this gets better i promise. Ichimatsu was the guy in purple.


End file.
